Defining my personal aesthetic has always been a challenge, and I know I’m not alone in this.
One day, I’m drawn to cozy, muted tones, and the next, I crave something bright and whimsical. I like a mix of vibes in my life, but it can make it difficult to create a cohesive look in my home decor and wardrobe, especially when deciding on investment purchases. Too often, I’ve fallen prey to fleeting trends that leave me feeling discontent and uninspired. And nothing will date a home or style choice quicker than a trend (I’m looking at you white subway tile and all-gray-everything).
The struggle is real: we want our choices to express our unique selves, but it’s easy to get caught up in trends that quickly feel outdated. So, how can we curate a collection of items that truly reflect our personal style and stand the test of time?
Defining a regret-free personal aesthetic is going to take a bit of self-reflection.
Enter the Four Word Design Method. Inspired by an Apartment Therapy article, this method has been a game-changer. The goal is to choose four words that represent what matters most to you and embody them in your life.
For me, this method has helped me focus my buying efforts on pieces I’ll actually use and love for longer than a season. It ensures that big-ticket items become heirloom pieces in my home and that the space I inhabit and the clothes I wear suit me like a second skin.
How to Embrace the ‘Four Word Design Method’
Find Your Words: In a distraction-free environment, reflect on what makes you feel most like ‘you’ and brings you true joy. Write down 15-20 words that capture these feelings, then narrow them down to four. Live with these words for a few days to ensure they resonate with you. If one doesn’t feel right, replace it. I suggest to avoid reflecting in a place with a strong design aesthetic already, such as a trendy coffee shop, as the location’s design aesthetic can creep into your subconscious and effect your answers.
Define Your Words: Consider what each word means to you. For example, one of my words is “purposeful,” which signifies functionality, clean lines, curation, and clutter-free living.
Apply Your Words: When making a purchase decision going forward, ensure the item aligns with at least two or three of your words. If it only hits one, the item needs to strongly embody that word.
Putting the ‘Four Word Design Method’ Into Action
When I did this exercise, I settled on the following four words:
Organic: Muted tones, natural elements (stone, wood, metal), outside-in, real
Storied: Vintage, culture, personal, whimsy, timeless, a curated cabinet of curiosities rather than a stark museum
Purposeful: Functional, curated, clean lines, clutter-free, liveable
Cozy: Tranquil, comfortable, warm, comforting, community, inviting
When I reflect on the times I felt truly in my element, these words are how I felt. So it’s only natural I would want to emulate and embody them at all times.
Now, it’s one thing to know your words, but putting them into action is another. To help illustrate this, I have two examples for you from putting my words into action: one a home decor example and the other a personal style one.
Personal Style Example: Vintage green dress
During a visit to my mom in North Carolina, she took me to her favorite thrift shop hidden up in the hills. As I browsed the racks, a vintage green dress caught my eye. The color was perfectly on-trend, and the button detailing and fabric quality intrigued me. Priced at only $1.00, my initial impulse was to buy it. However, since it wasn’t something I’d wear every day and I was in the midst of a closet purge, I decided to give it some thought first. Let’s see how it plays out with my words:
Organic: The dress is made of a natural linen making it perfect for where I live in South Florida’s humid climate, even with the dress’ length. I also liked how the green tone reminds me of fresh spring grass.
Storied: The dress is a vintage piece, instantly making it stories. The cut makes it timeless while the color adds the whimsy.
Purposeful: While the dress isn’t exactly something I would wear suitable for my everyday, work from home wear, it’s a personal piece that I knew would be a statement “me” piece to wear out for cocktails and dinners.
Cozy: It’s not sweatpants but the dress is beautifully structured while remaining more than comfortable enough for social gatherings.
Home Decor Example: A Curated Office Vignette
This wall in my office is probably my favorite wall in the house. It came together on its own over time and brings me so much pleasure every time I look at or interact with it. It’s a testament to the Four Word Design Method and gets bonus points for ticking the box on every single word.
Organic: Both the wall color and art piece are very much inspired by nature. The painting’s depiction of nature blends with the wall’s moody blue/green color and wooden materials of the credenza.
Storied: Each item on the credenza has a story or is a collected piece – much of it literally so in song or book form. It feels like a little curated cabinet of curiosities; enough to provide interest but not too much to be cluttered.
Purposeful: The credenza is functional providing both entertainment with the record player and functional storage for commonly-used office items.
Cozy: Aesthetically, everything about the wall is very comforting to me. The warm tones and functionality create an inviting atmosphere.
Additional Thoughts & Insights
Embracing the Four Word Design Method isn’t about achieving perfection or overhauling your home all at once. It’s a gradual process of piecing together a space that feels authentically yours. Use it as a guide to curate new items, and over time, you’ll naturally identify areas that need refinement. Don’t rush — slow, thoughtful changes can transform your space in meaningful ways.
If you’re concerned that defining your style in four words might feel restrictive, let me reassure you. This method doesn’t limit your creativity; it enhances it. It helps you filter out the noise of fleeting trends and focus on what genuinely resonates with you. Whether you’re drawn to countryside French or modern deco, your chosen words can guide you in exploring and applying different styles with confidence and clarity.
Before introducing new items into your home or wardrobe, consider decluttering first. Creating space by removing items that no longer suit you is more impactful than adding new pieces to an already cluttered environment. Take the time to evaluate what you have, and let go of what no longer serves you.
Remember, the goal of defining your style in four words is not to confine you but to empower you. It’s a tool to help you navigate the ever-changing world of trends and focus on what truly matters to you most.
